Mission: Rage at Austin City Limits
Subplot: Fight the infectious world of the gypsy
Sometimes if we're lucky enough we'll have a moment of clarity in life. My moment of clarity came at a time in my life when I was doing much thinking about the human struggle. It has become clear to me that there are two kinds of people in this world: people connected to the vibe and moving along with the current of society and gypsies.
If one finds himself disconnected from the vibe, it may only be a temporary gypsy takeover (curse), best not to panic, but to recognize poisonous occupation and follow these instru
ctions :1. Recognizing the problem is half the battle. Once you acknowledge that the gypsy infection is very real, you've already won. Gypsies will do whatever they can to disguise themselves, they are as inconspicuous as they are dangerous.
2. A gypsy will never confirm or deny that they are in fact a gypsy, this is the easiest way to spot a gypsy. Ask the suspected gypsy pointblank, "are you a gypsy?" if the creature says, "Yes" or "No" they are not a gypsy. If they choose to ignore the question that is a clear sign of a gypsy. Once a gypsy has been outed do not be surprised if they act strange, being self conscious or being made self aware by the question releases an acid discharge from the gypsy heart which courses through the veins, once it reaches the brain stem the gypsy goes numb and begins recomposing itself.
3. Gypsies are poisonous. You'll know that you've been touched by a gypsy when you feel that rotting inside your stomach. As if bile were mixing with cottage cheese deep inside you. As long as the reaction is purely physical and not mental you're in good shape, but once the curse reaches your psyche, it will take a real conscious effort to shake the gypsy curse. Easiest ways to get rid of a real curse: drink gypsy tears, alternate hot and cold water in the shower for 7 hours, or eat only apple for two weeks.
This Week's Top Ten Notable Gypsies:
1. Osama Bin Laden, Terrorist
2. Nancy Pelosi, Politician
3. Rafael Nadal, Athlete
4. The Kardashian Family, Entertainment/Prostitution
5. Andrew Cuomo, Politician
6. Lou Holtz, Retired Football Coach
7. Helen Mirren, Actress
8. Alex Rodriguez, Athlete
9. Denise Richards, Actress
10. Miley Cyrus, Musician (sorta)
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